(AKA how to not get trapped by clout leeches and energy vampires)
Not all networking is good networking. In fact, some people treat networking events like a Pokémon GO game, running around trying to “catch ‘em all” – except instead of adorable creatures, they’re collecting business cards, LinkedIn connections, and free advice. These are networking predators.
They’re not here to build genuine relationships. They’re here to extract value, waste your time, and leave you feeling like you just survived an infomercial. Let’s talk about how to recognize them, how to escape, and how to protect your networking energy.
🚩 Red Flags: How to Spot a Networking Predator
1. The One-Sided Opportunist
They don’t actually care who you are. They just want to know what you can do for them. The conversation feels like a job interview you didn’t apply for, and there’s zero mutual exchange—just them pitching, probing, and squeezing you for free intel.
🚨 Warning Signs:
- They start with “So, what do you do?” and immediately launch into why they need something from you.
- They don’t actually listen – just waiting for their turn to talk.
- They’re already looking around the room while you’re answering their question.
2. The Clout Chaser
This one is here to collect names, not relationships. If they think you have status, they’re all over you. If they decide you’re “not useful,” they disappear faster than your last Tinder match.
🚨 Warning Signs:
- They drop names like an overstuffed handbag falling over.
- They make a big show of “working the room” but never actually connect with anyone.
- If someone more important walks by, they abruptly leave your conversation.
3. The “Pick Your Brain” Serial Offender
These people think networking events are their personal pro bono consulting session. They’ll corner you and ask for just one quick piece of advice—which turns into 20 minutes of unpaid labor.
🚨 Warning Signs:
- The words “pick your brain” or “I just have a quick question” are uttered within the first 30 seconds.
- They keep asking for “just one more thing” like a toddler delaying bedtime.
- When you try to wrap it up, they act like they’ll follow up with “a coffee” (they won’t).
How to Escape a Networking Predator
1. The Redirect & Exit
If they’re monopolizing your time, don’t feel guilty about cutting it off. Try:
🔹 “Great to meet you! I want to make sure I say hi to a few more people before the night’s over.”
🔹 “This has been fun! I don’t want to hog all your time – I’m sure you want to meet others, too.”
🔹 “You should totally meet [insert random name] – they know way more about that than I do!”
2. The Business Card Brush-Off
If they really won’t take a hint, hand them a card (or take theirs) and say:
🔹 “Let’s connect on LinkedIn! I’ll follow up if it makes sense.”
3. The Group Pivot
See someone you know nearby? Pull them in.
🔹 “Oh hey! You two should totally meet.”
(Bonus: This makes your exit super easy even if it’s the worst case scenario move because you’ve just dumped someone off, ya rude a**.)
Protect your networking energy!
Not everyone deserves your time. Networking is about mutual connection, not becoming someone’s free strategy session or LinkedIn flex. So next time you spot a networking predator, escape with your dignity (and your energy) intact.
Because the real power of BASHH? It’s a space for real, non-cringy, human connections – not a feeding ground for clout vampires.
Now go forth, be awesome, and avoid the leeches.
