Networking events can be incredible engaging or just plain soul sucking, but no matter the vibe, you only invest that kind of time if you have a goal in mind. Because we’ve been hosting BASHH (and other networking events) for a decade and a half, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about tapping networking events for mentors.
All successful professionals have mentors, often multiple at a time, because they know it is a shortcut to have a sounding board, someone invested in their success.
If that sounds like something you’re looking for, here are some quick tips on making connections with a potential mentor:
Identifying potential mentors
People often seek out prestige and influencers, mistaking that for a possibility of quality mentorship. It’s merely wishful thinking. Mentors are people with experience relevant to your career goals, and they’re not always in the exact job title you’re aiming for in the future.
We encourage you to go to networking events with an open mind, looking for interesting conversations, with an open ear to someone who might have a fresh perspective to offer. If they are also good listeners and ask you interesting questions, they could potentially be a good mentor.
Remember: You’re looking for someone who can be a sounding board and guide, as well as challenge you to reach your goals (then hold you accountable to them).
Making the dreaded first step of asking them to mentor you
Let’s say you’re a copywriter in the tech space and you meet someone who is a Senior Creative Director also in the tech space. You’ve told them you’re looking to climb the corporate ladder at the large firm you’re at. The conversation goes well, and you think they might be a good long term mentor. What do you do?
You don’t just loudly proclaim after 30 seconds, “you shall be my mentor!”
Instead, engage in meaningful conversation, ask them thoughtful questions about their work, show sincere interest in their career path and life. If they don’t flit off to the next contact immediately, play it cool and simply ask for an introductory call.
“I know we just met, but I’m on the search for a mentor and I think [X] makes you a really interesting possibility. If you have bandwidth for a mentee, would you be willing to chat on Zoom next week to see if we’re a fit for each other?”
You don’t say the word relationship, you don’t beg, you don’t fawn, you don’t pressure them to commit on the spot, you simply ask if the door can be opened.
IF THEY SAY YES, get their email and set expectations. “That would be amazing, I’ll email you tomorrow regarding time slots, then I’ll set up the calendar invite for it. Thank you so much for being open to this possibility!”
IF THEY SAY NO, that’s normal, it’s not you – folks are busy. “I completely understand. Is there anyone in your network that you think might be a fit for my [upward trajectory at The Big Tech Company]? I’d love to ping them on LinkedIn with your blessing!” and pull out your phone and open LinkedIn.
(If they say they’ll think about it, that’s fine, don’t be pushy, let it go.)
They’ve agreed to meet, now what?
If they did say they were down for an exploratory call (15 minutes should suffice), email within 24 hours proposing a few times. Don’t just say “whenever is good for you,” that can be a lot of pressure. Offer windows, let them select one or two.
When they’ve chosen, immediately set up the calendar invitation and send it along, including a Zoom or Meet link. As a mentee, you should do all of the setup work, always.
Prep for that introductory meeting:
- Research your potential mentor more (Google, LinkedIn, etc. and know their basic timeline)
- Find non-creepy conversation starters and questions. Best place to start is in their professional journey – you know where they’ve been but how’d they get there and why?
- The purpose of the call is to see if y’all vibe and have time for each other, and to set expectations, not to mentor you quite yet.
- Be prepared to briefly talk about your goals, what you hope to gain from being mentored, why they were an attractive match, and determine next steps (frequency of meeting, online or offline, etc.).
- Towards the end, ask if they think you’re a match, and be prepared to take “no” for an answer without feeling rejected – sometimes people agree to a call out of kindness and should be allowed to not commit. If they say yes, manage all logistics of scheduling.
What makes for a quality mentor-mentee relationship?
Each journey is unique. Some are extremely polished and professional, others are more holistic and include conversations about life matters. But what makes for a successful long-term mentor relationship is the chemistry between both people, and a healthy talk/listen balance.
Some mentorship relationships last a few weeks, others span over decades. If you share goals with your mentor then accomplish them, and you always put into play the good advice they give, your relationship could serve you both for years to come.
And all because you went to a networking event.
(We hope to see you at OUR next networking event; click “RSVP” at the top of this page.)
